Magic. Getting pimped.
They seem to share a common thread. Sweating through yet another question barrage is almost like trying to pull a rabbit out of a hat. You pray for that magical white, fluffy answer to appear in your head and save you from even more humiliation at the hands of your supervisor.
Dr. Pimp: What KEY structure is innervated by the nerve that I have isolated with my Kelly probe?
Kelly who? aw man, all I can think of is sweet Jenny Garth on 90210. I'd like to probe that.
Dr. Pimp: Which BSACRONYM trial showed the gold standard for post-operative management of secondary bowel anastomosis after right hemi-colectomy on a 67 year-old male with previous history of ulcerative colitis and he still wants to maintain his gluttonous lifestyle of ribs, rib salads, and blended rib shakes?
I am so tired. Why did he have to mention ribs. I haven't eaten in 13 hours! Oh no, here comes the hotshot.
Clerk Knows-a-lot: Well, Dr. Pimp the appropriate management as cited in the recent MAKINGYOULOOKBAD trial showed that...
And so it will happen thus. Over the next 1.5 weeks of my last true holiday as a medical student I am mentally preparing myself for the subsequent 1.5 years of beatdowns that even Mike Tyson would be ashamed to dish out...even without the ear-nibbling. I guess the only solace I can take away from this is that everyone before me had been through this same process and had come out standing. That and maybe once in a while the skills I picked up from Siegfried and Roy Summer Camp o' Tricks will come in handy.
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Friday, December 15, 2006
Dr. Octopus
I'm going to be a clerk. I hope I don't hurt anybody.
More importantly, I hope nobody hurts me.
I recently attended a series of lectures that outlined how many ways I could accidentally kill a patient in the hospital, and the many ways I could be emotionally, financially, and literally screwed by their lawyers. The main point I took away from the series was that in clerkship, and superheroing, with great power comes great responsibility.
Except I have no powers. I can't climb walls, shoot webs from my wrists, or arrive just in time at the scene of a crime in the chill of night like a streak of light. I can't even iron my clerk coat properly. It's perpetually wrinkly. I think I lost my name tag again.
So what hope is there for us clerks?
Fortunately, Spiderman doesn't iron his costume. And he doesn't need a name tag. And he still manages to handle great responsibility.
We have ironed coats and name tags (most of us). Clearly we're more prepared to handle great responsibility than Spiderman.
Clerkship here I come.
Your friendly neighborhood medical student.
More importantly, I hope nobody hurts me.
I recently attended a series of lectures that outlined how many ways I could accidentally kill a patient in the hospital, and the many ways I could be emotionally, financially, and literally screwed by their lawyers. The main point I took away from the series was that in clerkship, and superheroing, with great power comes great responsibility.
Except I have no powers. I can't climb walls, shoot webs from my wrists, or arrive just in time at the scene of a crime in the chill of night like a streak of light. I can't even iron my clerk coat properly. It's perpetually wrinkly. I think I lost my name tag again.
So what hope is there for us clerks?
Fortunately, Spiderman doesn't iron his costume. And he doesn't need a name tag. And he still manages to handle great responsibility.
We have ironed coats and name tags (most of us). Clearly we're more prepared to handle great responsibility than Spiderman.
Clerkship here I come.
Your friendly neighborhood medical student.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)