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I was sitting with an acquaintance of mine in the anatomy lab when he asked me if I was playing "the game". I assumed that he was not a character from The Executioner series of adventure novels, and I also assumed he was not asking if I was participating in everybody-wins-musical-chairs. I'm pretty sure he was asking if I was trying to get into a competitive specialty by sucking up to doctors and program directors.
Looking at the other clerks around me in the emergency room who want to do get into an emergency specialty program, I can't imagine ever standing a chance. It's very similar to Olive's entry into the Little Miss Sunshine competition: wrong reasons for entering, late to the competition and nobody likes the way I dance.
I can't imagine standing a chance cause some of those people are insane. They start emergency medicine clubs, where they get together and talk about emergency medicine and how much they love it. Are they really that in love with emergency medicine, or are they doing it mostly to further their career? I really love my Nintendo Wii and I haven't started a Nintendo Wii club. And I really really love my Wii. Or these people will get together and do research projects for their supervisors, or maybe follow them around all day laughing at all their jokes, maybe wash their car, walk their dog...
I guess that's what it takes to climb the ladder in any job, and the people who need to do it should be doing it to get where they want to. Short term pain for long term gain, so they say. Good thing there's family medicine. The underachieving, misunderstood child of the medical specialty family. To end up in family medicine, they'll have to kiss my ass.
Doctors talk way too much.
I know. I've listened to them not shut up for two and half years, morning, most afternoons, and sometimes in my nightmares. Sometimes nightmares in the morning while they're talking too much and I'm sleeping too little. I don't know why doctors talk so much. I have a feeling it's a reflex retained from when they were children and were unable to communicate their need for attention in any form other than vocalizing loudly, painfully, and without regard for whoever may or may not be listening. Everybody needs attention, but as I've learned, doctors and babies especially.
One of the things that I've stopped doing is asking questions unless I've found something to sit on. Simple queries such as "Given this patient profile, should I do a CT head?" or "Where are the sutures?" invariably lead to 15 minute diatribes on each study completed in the last decade on the subject followed by a brief examination of the Socratic method versus problem based learning, and ultimately the failure to recall what the original question was.
So far the colleagues who've struck me as smart are the ones that say less. Also, the ones that struck me as idiots say more.
Bloggers included.
Even before the days of the first yabba dabba doo powered automobile and the brontosaurus steam shovel, the ultimate goal of technology has always remained the same...
To build a ROBOT DOCTOR.
One day, maybe in my lifetime, I'll be conveyed into a clinic on a moving sidewalk. A friendly ferrous-alloyed physician will shake my hand with a just sterilized claw, steaming like a hot towellette, or maybe I'll grasp the disposable prosthetic hand shaker/quad orifice scope instead. "BEGINNING DIAGNOSTIC" flashes on the viewscreen, and after an uncomfortable but thorough four minutes of being probed in my all orifices simultaneously, the software comes to a conclusion.
"DIAGNOSIS: MEDICAL STUDENT. WELCOME TO YOUR MEDICINE ROTATION."
Ah, technology. Making life better for us all.
Mechanical medical personnel aside, there have been many techy advances for medical students which have come about in recent years. PDAs jump readily to mind. These secondary brains have saved many a clerk from looking foolish in front of an attending more times than their primary brains have. If somebody tells you they're not useful in medical school, they either haven't found the right programs, or the Mennonites have gotten to them.
Another happy byproduct of medical technology has been the introduction of computers as record keepers in the hospital. For the most part, I've found that records are easier to access, harder to lose, and much more organized than their paper counterparts. The benefits are almost infinite, but the drawbacks are in no short supply. Computer crashes, data backup failures and incompatible software are just a few of the issues EMRs face. Bad for health care. But good for students!
As long as you're tech savvy enough to have found and read this blog, you have a pretty decent
chance of being computer hero to many of the old-school pre-digital era dinosaur MDs out there. You know the ones I'm talking about. They're the ones that hold the mouse upside down, or the ones that somehow manage to activate the virtual aquarium screen saver and password lock themselves out. Once there's an EMR crap out, you can save the day and feel marginally useful, rather than marginally primate.
Lemonade from high tech lemons. End transmission.
